everything on rent

My roomie 'W' made this arrangement with the water guy. The water guy is 'Chandu Wala Hari', a budding entrepreneur. He started at Chandu's and now he owns a water business. Each bottle comes with 'HP' as a initial. Highly potent, highly perverted, highly pissed, highly pured or simply Hari Prasad. Whatever...

The deal is that he will supply drinking water to our house and we will pay him at the end of the month. He is close to us so he can come chill out, have a smoke or a peg and go. That's added benefits of being close to us which this water guy enjoys almost every time.

Now I realize that everything we have; or in better words; every service we have got is on rent. starting with our house, cable connection, internet connection, newspaper, electricity, water, food and in a broader perspective, friends, well wishers, family, love, affection almost everything around me is somehow or the other rented. We just don't own them. They are not ours. We just use them and pay for them later. 

As a matter of fact I am still paying for falling in love last time :P

At this point of time there is nothing which can be termed incomplete, because we complete it by taking things on rental. 

I am almost sober for last one week ending today. Still shit happens and few hours ago we all four were fined for not having a platform ticket, which would have been a rental for being on the railway platform. Zooming on Bangalore's road at late night in a car, blaring loud music is fun and sober too. 

I can feel my body melting and adjusting itself into bones and other parts of my skeleton. I feel my head melt at times. May be Bangalore is too hot or I am just plain fucked up there on top floor. This headache is some kind of withdrawal symptom. Every night I feel something splitting my head from between. And the dope is not there this time to make it go away so it just takes revenge, mind fucks me with a vengeance. 

All this cacophony in the world seems to accumulate and get ready for that blast. I used to burst with emotions, tears, feelings, love and what not. Now what remains of them is just plain pain, meaningless pain. A constant pain to remind me that I am done now.

To hell with it. It's been a week and now I sign off.

Social Experiment # 1

Part of my journey into the unknown.

Mom used to say "Beta don't drink or smoke"; and we used to think old timers, huh!

So we did it, and did it to an extent where the demons in them started looking down our shoulders scratching our life bit by bit. We never knew or never cared to realize the fact in front of us.

So I got curious, you may say very late in life, but yeah I am a slow learner in these matters of life skills.

Went ahead and did it. Did it with a panache so that it looks good even if it fucks the life out of my body. But then there was something holding me back and never dared to cross that morbid, thin and almost invisible line. But now I am self aware of the fact that I will never be able to do it even close to that. So I put myself in reverse now. And this is where my social experiment kicks in. I am going to shun the very essence these intoxication carry for me, for a start. I am going to shut myself down on these. And check my own self, my own will. Never did it 'coz never cared for. But I want to do this. Every week or month I am going to shun one thing and start a new one to replace that in totality of it.

And then jot down what happens next... 

If not you then atleast it will keep me entertained.